Believe In Me
by BrandNewMe
Summary: You just want to know that someone cares about you, the real you, not the one everyone thinks they know." Not a typical romance story. Jemi. Please Read and Review


**" The mirror can lie. Doesnt show you whats inside, and it can tell you youre full of life. Its amazing what you can hide, just by putting on a smile." **Believe in Me -Demi Lovato

*****

You look at yourself in the mirror, and at your first glance, you see what the whole world sees; a pretty girl that has it all. Nobody but you sees whats underneath it all, all the make-up, nice dresses, and fake smiles. You see that your eyes dont shine anymore and that the smile on your face is forced. You see the deep bags under your eyes covered by foundation to cover the fact that you havent slept more than a few hours in weeks.

You take in the image of your body and cant help but shudder at it. To others you seem delicate and feminine, but you know thats not true. You feel weak, tired. Your appetite left when your ability to sleep did. You know its cruel irony; all you want to do is sleep, but you cant, and that kills you.

You cant let anyone else find out though. Youre Demi Torres, the Disney princess brought in to put the divas back in place. You are supposed to be the beautiful seventeen year old that writes her own songs that have meaning to them, that when you sing, the whole world can hear the soul in your voice. Youre supposed to be the entertainer that is full of life and that parents and kids along will love. You are supposed to be perfect, whether you truly are or not.

Problem is, that youre not.

Number one rule of showbiss: Never let them know that. But isnt that part of your contract? "Must keep a clean, wholesome appearance and follow approved standards of conduct". Its highlighted in bold in your contract and they were sure to be crystal clear in that part before they signed you.

You didnt realize until too late the deal you were making. You give them your soul and complete control over you, and in exchange they make your dreams come true. Except later you realize that what was once your beautiful dream, has now become the dream of a bunch of greedy, money hungry men who just try to come up with new ways to get the most profit out of you. To them, you are not a person, you are a writting, singing, acting money making machine that the public loves, and thats it.

So now here you are. Looking at yourself in front of a mirror thats bent on showing you someone that you are not. You are not this girl in the mirror, she is a fake. You hate her, you hate having to pretend to be her. You want to be yourself, not Demi Torres, the perfect princess, but just Demi, the _real _girl. But you cant.

Youve tried to with other people. You've let a few people in to know the real you, and the majority of them have hurt you. So you learned not to trust easily, and to not let anyone else in either. You know you cant handle it anymore. You dont know why everything has to be so complicated. On one hand, you never want to be alone, and you always want to have people with you and believe that they care, but when they are with you, you just want to be alone. Its complicated wanting everyone in, but never actually letting them in.

You just want to know that someone cares about you, the real you, not the one everyone thinks they know.

You feel your eyes starting to water and that piercing pain pressing at your chest that doesnt let you breathe and you fight as hard as you can to keep it away. You cant cry right now. You turn to your clock and see its time to go. Its time to put on your mask again and sing a song that hurts you. It hurts you because your songs are real, and theyre a part of you. Coded in messages and hidden meaning, you know that if someone took the time to study them instead of simply memerizing them, that person would be able to see the real Demi, the one who is so hurt and who needs someone to help her so much. You know that if someone came up to you and just showed you they cared and could understand, maybe you would have a real reason to hold on.

Nobody ever does.

You blink away the tears before they finish forming in your eyes and head downstairs. You get in the car and soon you are on your way to awards. You wish you didnt have to come, but you are the most nominated female of the night, and your fans are waiting for you. Its a kids awards, so you know you have to keep a smile on your face the whole night. As soon as you get off the car to walk the red carpet, you are met by a hundreds of paparazzi and reporters asking you questions.

_" Demi how does it feel to be the most nominated girl of the night"_

_" Is the new album ready?"_

_" Demi, is true you are ..."_

_" Is it true you are dating Jonas lead singer Joe Lucas?"_

_" How do you feel about the comments made about you by Miley Stewart?"_

_" How does it feel to be Americas Rocking Sweetheart?"_

You expected all the questions they asked you and kindly replied you were honored to have so many nominations and thanked your fans, who you truly cared about. You answered that you were currently working on your new album, but were nowhere near done with it. You denied dating one of your best friends Joe, and tried to ignore the shot of pain that pressed into your chest, unsuccessfully. You cleared up that there was no fight between you and Miley, even though you know she trashed you in front of everyone. And you giggled at the Sweetheart comment. But you didnt expect the next question.

_" How does it feel to be perfect?"_

You felt your smile falter and suddenly you felt lightheaded and weaker than you had ever felt, which is saying a lot. You hear the reporter gasp when she sees your eyes roll to the back of your head and the last thing you hear before everything goes black is a beautiful voice shouting your name.

* * *

You had just gotten here but you instantly knew she was already here. You knew you had to say hello to your fans and talk to some reporters, but you couldnt stop yourself from making your way away from your brothers and members of Jonas to catch up to were almost there when you saw her stumble back and you knew instantly that something was wrong.

" Demi!"

You shouted her name and ran to catch her before she fell. She fell limp in your arms and you were about to panic when something stronger took over you. You _had _to protect her, and now was not the time to freeze and panic. You heard your brothers get next to you and you turned to them while you picked her up in your arms.

" Kevin call the paramedics, Nick help me find a room to lay her down"

They both nodded and you could hear Kevin taking out his phone and calling. Then you turned to Nick who was already making his way inside and quickly finding our designated dressing walked as fast as you could withouth hurting her and ignored all the cameras that were recording you, as well as all the murmurs and relationship confirmations that they were saying.

What you couldnt help but notice was that she was so light and thin. When you had first met her, she had been skinny, but had round, cheerful features, especially her cheeks. You made your way into the dressing room and layed her down in the long sofa that had been set up for the bands use. A few moments later Kevin and a pair of paramedics made their way into the room and immediately moved you away from her so they could check her. They said that she was fine and that she just needed to rest. Grabbing their equipment, they made their way out and said they would return when she woke up to make sure everything was still in order. Only Kevin, Nick, and I remained in the room.

" We should go tell them that shes ok" commented Nick

" You guys go, I want to stay here" I told them.

Both of them nodded and left to inform the others that she was ok. I grabbed a chair and sat next to her, just looking at her, and wishing I could do more. I looked at her face, and I was shock to see the deep bags under her eyes. I noticed hat her face was more angular and her big cheeks were gone. Her dress was loose and stuck to her body and you were struck by the sight of how thin she had become. But that wasnt the worst part. The worst part was what you saw when her dress ridded up her leg. There were cuts at the begining of her legs. You felt your eyes begin to water and dont even bother to try and stop the tears from falling down your face and onto your shirt.

What happened to her? She used to be so happy and now she looks so broken. You remember when she would always smile. But what kills you the most...

... Is that you know it can be your fault.

You remember when she told you she was in love with you, and you answered her back that you loved her as well. You remember kissing her and promising you would always be with her. And you remember making her promise not to tell anyone.

_"Nobody has to know, just give us some time to grow and lets take it slow."_

Every time someone asked if you were dating her, you denied it, and so did she. You remember seeing the love she had for you grow in her eyes, and you remember being scared. You knew people stopped buying that you two werent dating, and you remember getting a nasty phone call from your label telling you to break everything off, there was no way they could allow a nineteen year old to date a sixteen year old. It wasnt right and the public wouldnt approve. And he did. He broke up with her because he was told to and because he was afraid. He was afraid of his feelings for her. So what did he do? He broke up with her, but told her that they would still be best friends. She accepted and he still saw her every once in a while.

Then it was time to film the sequel and you hated that every guy there wanted her. She has this ability to brighten up a room as soon as she walks in. You made sure that everyone knew that she was off-limits. You spent all the time you possibly could with her. She seemed happy, but you knew better, didnt you? You knew something was wrong and that she needed you, you knew it was hurting her that you werent with her, but did you care?

No, you didnt.

All that mattered was that the cast new she was with you, and that nobody else tried to get her. And when filming was over, you kept visiting her, and talking to her, but then it was time to go on tour, and you left. You had barely talked to her since, only calling every once in a while to check up on her. You remember calling her when you found out she was dating that rocker loser and when she was seen kissing the photographer. You were so mad at her. How could she have done that? You felt betrayed and scolded her for it, being short of calling her a whore for it. You never stopped to see how that could affect her. Soon after that phone call, it was announced that she had broken it off.

You got what you wanted.

And now here you are, and she is regaining consciousness. She moves around in the sofa and opens her eyes. You see them widen when she realizes youre there with her.

" Whats going on, Demi?"

* * *

You start to open your eyes and youre not exactly sure where you blink a few times and realize that you are not alone. Your eyes widen when you see that _he _is there. You dont want him there, not now. Youre not ready and you know he can see through your lie.

" Whats going on, Demi?" he asks in a low voice. You sit up and look at him.

" What happened, and what do you mean?" you ask, confused.

" You fainted in the middle of the red carpet. I got you before you could fall and we brought you to our dressing room, now tell me, whats going on?"

" Nothing" you instinctly answer

" Dont lie to me Dems" he warns you in a low voice, using the same nickname he gave you when the two of you had barely met. Instantly, you felt the pang of pain that always accompanied any memory. The good memories, the ones that once made your heart beat full of joy, are now the ones that hurt the most. Simply because you know you will never get those back, you know youre never gonna have that happiness again, no matter how badly you want it.

" I dont know what youre talking about, Im not lying" you deny, and even you admit you sound like youre lying.

" Really?" He narrows his eyes and scolds at you. " So, if thats the truth, why did you just faint?" he questions you, daring you to come up with an acceptable excuse.

" I've been feeling a little sick and I skipped breakfast this morning, thats probably the reason why I fainted, but really, Joe, Im fine, all I need is something to eat" you answer him, youre not suprised that you can come up with excuses so quickly, youve been doing the same thing for months allready, its become second nature to you.

" Dems," he whispers, deciding to take a different approach, " Why wont you tell me whats wrong? I know you, honey, I know you better then anybody ever has, or ever will, and I can see it in your eyes, so please, please, tell me whats wrong Demi" he pleades with you.

Thats when you reach youre breaking point. Withouth stopping to think for a second, you throw your arms around his waist and bury your head in his shoulder. You body begings to shake uncontrollably and he wraps his arms tightly around you. You feel the piercing pain in your heart as you let everything out. He never says a word, and only runs his hand down your back and on your hair to help soothe you. Youre thankful for that, but then again, he knows you so well that you knew he would know exactly what to do.

After you finally become able to moderately control yourself and stop shaking, he starts to play with a strand of your hair. You keep your head on his shoulder, because you dont want to let go of the incredible comfort that being near him is giving you right now. You dont care that it will only make it worse when he leaves you again. This is the first moment of peace that youve had in months.

"Dems, please, talk to me" he prompts you again. You sigh, deciding to answer him anything, just to be able to keep him next to you for a few more moments.

" Whats wrong honey" he asks

" It hurts" you whisper, feeling weak and pathetic

" What hurts?" he asks, concern laced in his tone

" Everything... everything hurts Joe, not being able to be myself " you answer him, consciously leaving out that one of the biggest pains you have comes from not having him anymore.

" What do you mean Demi?'' he asks you.

" It means that I cant be myself anymore. That everyone is always trying to pressure me into being somebody else. I hate it Joe. I hate having to pretend to be perfect. I hate feeling so hurt and having to hide it. I hate this. I hate having to watch my every step and always having someone judge me on every single mistake I make.", you sobb into his shoulder.

" Demi, honey, I know how you feel, trust me, but why are you doing this, why are you hurting yourself?" he asks you.

" I cant stop it Joe, I cant sleep or eat anymore, its been months since Ive been able to sleep the whole night and I just dont want to eat, Im never hungry" you confess. You will admit to him that, but youre too ashame to tell him about your cutting, you know hes going to be angry at you.

" I understand that Demi, but why are you cutting yourself"" he questions you, but to your suprise, theres no judgement in his tone, theres only concern for you.

" I felt empty, Joe. I feel like ive become such a robot, always doing what Im told, always having other people make decisions for me, never having a say in what happens in my life, having the people I care about hurt me" she whispers. " It made me feel something" she finishes.

" Demi, why didnt you talk to me, or anybody else for that matter, ugh, do your idiot exes have something to do with it, Demi, why did you even date those losers" he questions you, and you msut be hearing things because you can swear you hear jealousy in his voice.

" I liked Jayce because I thought he was like who I wanted to be. Hes free. Yes, he acts like an idiot, but nobody has control over him, nobody is constantly telling what to do or how to live his life. I want to be free too, I just felt that if I was with him, some of that feeling of freedom would be trasferred to me, I dont know, I was so desperate for it, I was willing to try anything to get to it." You confess, knowing that he probably thinks youre an idiot now for actually thinking that would work.

" Demi, I understand what you feel, I know what it feels like to be pressured into being a perfect role model. I know what it feels like to know that someone is always watching, waiting for you to mess up, I know how you feel honey, because I've felt like that so many times, but do you know how I get through it?" he asks you. You shake your head, and hope desperately that he has a way that you can follow, something that gives you hope that you can get through everything.

" I remember all the good things that I have in my life. I remember and think about all the people that care and love just because im Joe, not the star, but just me. I remember all the people who know im not perfect and dont expect me to be, and I remember the people that I love that make it all worthwhile. And you know what else? When Im really feeling down, and I think theres no way that anything can make me feel better, I think of you."

You turn your face up to look straight at him. Youre sure you heard him wrong. He is perfect, of course he doesnt think of you. Hes just trying to comfort you because he thinks youre suicidal. As soon as he can hes gonna leave you again, right now he only feels pity for you. But what about if hes telling the truth? What about if he cares about you the same way you care for him? Then you remember that youve played that game before. He doesnt love you the way you love him, if he did, he wouldnt have left you. He wouldnt have dated all the other girls that make you look like nothing. After you, he only dated the best of the best, They were all tall, thin, talented, and perfect. You were nothing like them, and between you and them, any guy would choose them.

" Youre lying" you confront him. Your eyes flash with a mix of pain and anger, and finally just sorrow.

"No, Im not" he defends himself

" Prove it" You challege him

Before you know it, he has one of his arms wrapped around your small waist and the other around your neck. His lips crash on top of yours and he kisses you deeply. His toungue grazes your bottom lip, asking for access inside and you open your mouth as his toungue enters your mouth, you feel him pull you closer to him and dig his hand into your hair. Your hands instictly wrap around his head and neck as you run your fingers through his thick curly hair. Soon, both of you have to seperate to breathe, both your breathing is heavy but you only seperate what is necessary to catch your breath. Neither of you moves though, and he keeps you tightly next to his body. He places his hand in the back of your head and leans your head down to rest on his shoulder.

" When Im having the worse time ever, I really do think of you Dems. I think about how youre always there for me. How you always understand me and how you laugh at all my jokes, even when they arent funny. I remember how you dont let yourself become a spoiled diva and how you dont pretend to be kind just for the cameras. How your smile can make anybodys day, especially mine. How soft your hair is and how you always care about everybody else more than you. And most of all, I remember your voice, and your music, You know, thats what I love the most about you, how you have this amazing voice, and how you can pour your entire soul into your songs when you sing. I love that you write songs that show people part of you, the real you, and not stupid songs about being a fly on the wall or cupid, or being a superstar. And I love you, Dems" he concludes. By now you can feels the tears returning to your eyes. You want to believe him so badly, You know that all you need to get better is him, that he could help you get back to being the girl you were when he met you, but you still cant believe it, its too good to be true.

" If you love me, Why did you leave me?" you whisper, and youre not sure if youre asking him or yourself.

He sighs before answering your question.

" I left you because I was a coward. Back then our age difference seemed so big and I fell in love with you so much that I was afraid of my feelings. You were everything I ever wanted and I knew that eventually I would mess up and you would leave me, you were just too good to be true, everything I ever wanted in a girl, and I knew that If we stayed together much longer and we broke up, I wouldnt be able to handle it. Thats why when we broke up, I begged you to stay friends, I wanted to have you with me in some way, I couldnt completely let go of you. I was such a coward and when they told me that I had to break up with you, I used that as the excuse I needed. I should have fought for you, for us, but I didnt, and thats the biggest mistake Ive ever made,because I could have prevented _this_" he says, signaling your body. " Im so sorry Dems" he says, resting his head on yours and letting out a deep breath.

You hug him again,tightly pressing your entire body against him, wanting to fully feel the comfort and security that just being near him gives you.

"I love you, Joe, more than my own life" you whisper.

He presses you closer to him and you let out a sigh. Thats when you feel it. You feel what youve been wanting to feel for so long.

You feel free.

Finally, you feel that freedom that you looked for so desperately since the both of you seperated. It is liberating, and you feel like the terrible ache in your heart is finally gone. You feel peace, and you can feel all the love you have for him rising to the surface once again. Neither or you moves, the moment is just too perfect, with both of you just holding on to the other, and you dont want to break it. You stay the same, simply relishing the comfort when you both hear the door opening. Nick and Kevin just came back from you dont know where. You can see they are both confused as to why you two are hugging each other, but you dont care. You smile at them, and it suprices you that it is not a fixed or forced smile, but a real one, after all, these two are like just brothers and they have always cared for you and loved you.

" Ummm, I hate to break this moment up but the producers want us to go out and theywant to know if your still performing" Nick said, looking at me.

" Yeah, Im still up for it" You answer him. You turn to Kevin, who seems to be caught between giving you the space you have been demanding lately and coming closer to you. He finally gives in to the latter and comes up to you, wrapping you in a brotherly hug. You let goof Joe and turn around to answer his hug, you also make a mental note to yourself to talk to him and apologize for pushing him away when you know youve always had a special part in his heart as his sister.

When he finally lets go of you, you stand up and start to straighten your dress and fix your hair just enough to make you presentable. You dont want to worry your fans unnecessarily, after all, Joes with you now, so you know things are gonna get better.

All of you start making your way outside and into the sight ofthe cameras,which is why you become shocked when you feel Joe wrap his arm around your neck. You knew that now people would begin suspecting a relationship between the both of you again. You lean into him and smile.

" What are you doing, theyre going to start suspecting again" you whisper between your teeth, so the nobody knew you were talking. He stopped you and turned you around so that you coud look straight into his eyes, before answering you.

" I dont care who sees, youre my girl, Dems, and im never going to let anything get in the way of that ever again, I love you" He finished,and pecked you on the lips. You couldnt stop the small giggle from escaping your lips and smiled widely at the cameras, who had caught Joe's revelation and your kiss. You felt like pinching yourself, not being able to believe that you were finally with him, that he truly loved you. He leads you backstage, where they are motioning you to get on stage, since you are running late. Problem is, you dont want to let go. He understands, and squeazes your hand, promising to bewaiting for you as soon asyou finish youre performance. Quickly, you practically run onstage and soon, you hear the introductory beats of your song begin to play...

... Its your time.

_I don't know why, I dont know why_

_Im so afraid_

_I don't know how, I don't know how_

_To fix the pain_

_We're living a lie, living a lie_

_This needs to change_

_We're out of time, we're out of time_

_And it's still the same_

_We can't stop the world_

_But there's so much more that we could do_

_You can't stop this girl_

_From falling more in love with you_

_You said nobody has to know,_

_Give us time to grow, and take it slow_

_But I'd stop the world_

_If it finally let us be alone,_

_Let us be alone _

_Im hearing the noise, hearing the noise_

_From all around_

_I'm on the edge, I'm on the edge_

_Of breaking down_

_Like Bonnie and Clyde, lets find a ride_

_And ditch this town_

_To keep it alive, keep it alive_

_Don't make a sound_

_We can't stop the world_

_But there's so much more that we could do_

_You can't stop this girl_

_From falling more in love with you_

_You said nobody has to know,_

_Give us time to grow, and take it slow_

_But I'd stop the world_

_If it finally let us be alone,_

_Let us be alone _

_Let us be_

_I never wanna take, that final look_

_I'll turn another page, won't close the book_

_We can't stop the world_

_But there's so much more that we could do_

_You can't stop this girl_

_From falling more in love with you_

_You said nobody has to know,_

_Give us time to grow, and take it slow_

_But I'd stop the world_

_If it finally let us be alone,_

_Let us be alone _

_Let us be alone_

_Lets us be alone..._

You finish and you see Joe staring right at you, he knows. You know he knows that song was written for him. You know thats why you wrote with his brother, because hes the only one who could try to understand. You hear everyone in the audience applauding you, wearing your name and picture, holding out posters of you, and thats when it hits you.

They care, all of these people who dont know you, care about you. Yeah, they might not know the real you with all the problems, but they dont care, they still care about you and some idolize you. You have friends who love you and would help you if you let them in. You have a family and a mom who has been stressing out trying to help you even when you constantly push her away.

And you have him.

Him who can make you or break you. He, who with a few words can make you miserable or the happiest person in the world. Yeah, youre broken, and youre not naive enough to believe that just because he is now with you, you are going to magically get over your depression from one minute to the next. But even though your broken, now you understand that you have some one to hold onto. Someone who knows you're not perfect, and still wants you that way, and that all you really need.

*****

**AN: Ok, so this is my first fanfiction based on Jemi. Im thinking about starting one based on Shane and Mitchie but I want to see if you guys like this kind of stories. I can write all types of stories, but they usually depend on how I feel, so please dont be offended by anything I write, Its just that to me, writting is an outlet, and I get inspired by things that happen to me and the people I love.**


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